Simple Pleasures

Maybe I'm a bit evil, but I can't even describe the PURE FREAKING JOY this little incident brought me:

Everyday my walk to work takes me across Centre Street, just before the bridge into downtown. (Close to here) There's no traffic lights nearby, so everyday, twice a day, I have to rely on the attentiveness and better nature of commuters to stop and let me cross unscathed. Well, it's also THE LAW, but you wouldn't know it from how hard it is get four lanes of SUVs to stop.

As some extra background, I should mention that Calgary pedestrians tend to be a meek and downtrodden lot. I was once one of these invisible, endangered wretches, but a few years of living in Vancouver turned me into Calgary's own Pedestrian Avenger. The attitude of pedestrians in Vancouver in one of constant moral outrage. In the more genteel sections, getting cut off at a crosswalk will elicit a disgusted sigh, dirty look and maybe a few gestures of annoyance. In my East Van neighborhood, failure to yield to even the most egregious of jaywalkers would earn your car a swift kick, and cause all sorts of shouting, swearing and even spitting. I've adopted the middle approach - lots of hands thrown in the air and murderous looks. It's nothing out of the ordinary in Vancouver, but it seems to shock the hell out of drivers here in Cowtown.

Anyway, last night I was standing in my usual spot, venturing out inch by inch, trying to get at least one lane to slow down and notice me. I hadn't noticed it, but on the cross street next to me was a police car waiting to turn left onto Centre.

One lane clear, I walk out and try to stop the second. A few cars blow past me. I lock the next oncoming driver into a stare and he grudgingly stops. Step in front and wait for the third lane, filled with drivers that apparently assume that the guy in the second lane has stopped just for fun. The cars keep coming, I'm starting to use my oh, come on gestures. but then there's a small gap - the next guy has to stop. He slows down, I start to take a step, but then he CHANGES HIS MIND, speeds up and nearly runs me down. I explode in a flurry of arm-waving and eye-cursing. But it's all in vain, because this happens every. single. day.

But then the miracle happens. The unnoticed police car next to me springs to life, turning on it's sirens and lights. It pulls out onto Centre and waves down the offending car. This never happens. People get busted for speeding on this street all the time, but mowing down pedestrians hardly raises an eyebrow. Failure to yield to a pedestrian in crosswalk? Stupid. Failure to yield to a bitchy, gesticulating pedestrian when a police car is right there? $575 worth of stupid, sucka.